funniest story I heard all day

mordeth- My last girlfriend liked to hold my hand. I don't really care for it. Makes it uncomfortable to walk. One day we are walking through a park and she tries to hold my hand...I hold her hand for a few seconds then let go. So she makes a cute whine sound and pouts. So I ask her "Why do you like to hold hands?". She thinks about this for a bit and responds with "It makes me feel safe." Oh...ok...so I offer my hand and she takes it happily. A few seconds later I use the hand that I'm holding onto to fling her into some bushes and as she struggles to get up I say "Doesn't feel so safe now....does it?"

True story.