vindication

I was waiting for a bus one cold day last week and since I had a nasty bloody cold too I didn't feel like walking around looking for a garbage can and threw my empty zun cu nai cha container in some guys scooter basket. Some frustrated, 40ish, office worker type saw me and told me it wasn't a garbage can. Feeling really quite embarrassed I mumbled an apology of sorts and took the garbage out. That wasn't enough for miss fancy pants though so she continued to yak (in English) at me about what a terrible thing littering is blah blah blah yak yak yak until finally I said "Look lady, I took the garbage back, what do want me to do now, climb up on a cross?" That didn't gel in her pin brain either so I said "Listen, either stop talking to me or I'm going to put the garbage back." That didn't work either and she got started on the yaking again so I put the garbage back in the scooter basket and said "There, you happy?" She said she was tired of foriegners coming here and disrespecting her country so I said I didn't disrespect Taiwan I was just tired and quite ill and getting tired of her bitching already. Then I put my thumb over my left nostril and blew a big gob of snot out of the other. Unfortunately a thick green glob of said snot gob landed on her shoe. It sat glistening there like a tiny phosphorescent oyster for a bit and then the bus came and luckily for me did one of those flick of the back door rolling stops so I jumped on thinking that at long last I could be rid of miss hormone disorder. She had other plans though and tried to jump on the bus behind me so I gave her a sort of back kick to the top of her head. She stumbled backwards and was run over by a cavalcade of motor scooters each with basket fulls of garabage left by inconsiderate foriegners and I felt vindicated.