Saturday, May 26, 2007

olive direct

bob - I think about breasts a lot. Not mine but other people's. Women. Some women have nice large breasts and some have no breasts at all. That is cute. Mainly though I think about large breasts with the borderline caucasian nipple such as you find in Northern China. Attached as it were to an entirley matter of fact and olive direct personality in makes for quite a stunning package unlike anyone you might find in the west, even if it does gaze at itself in the mirror all the time and waltz around like it was the very heart of desire. Somehow non-self conscious and proud at the same time. You wonder how that is possible before distressing yourself with the realization that it some day won't be.


Loretta - A few years ago, I was having the "what are we doing with our lives" conversation with one of my friends. The problem is of course that I lack direction, so he was pushing me to focus on my goals.

"What is it that you really want?" he asked repeatedly. "Think about it, deeply. Close your eyes, empty your mind. What comes into it? Do it again. And again, until you understand what it is you truly want out of life."

Try as I might, all I could ever really think of was a pair of perfect breasts. They would float in front of my closed eyes, just out of reach, tantalizingly pert and rounded, shaming the 'two fried eggs' sported by most of the ladies of Taipei. The lack of proper breasts in my life is probably the greatest barrier to extreme success I face. Until this particular need is addressed I can't move forward and focus on everyday mundanities like earning money.


bob It must be the spring weather. I have to rattle my brain for all kinds of ideas about how to make classes interesting and productive and how to add something insightful to this conversation or that, but mostly all I can think about is tits mostly. It is tits season out there too so that probably aggravates the situation. It's like the flu.


Sandman - Can posts be described as delicious? Buttercup's posts are. You need to read them with a lump of good bread sometimes because you need it to mop up the last of that good gravy so you don't waste a drop. Like bob's, are sometimes when he's opening all those strange doors he has access to and isn't afraid of opening. Except when he goes on about his mammaries, though. That's just rude. And confusing sometimes. North European nipples? What are they in the non-obvious sense of course?

Bob - No, no, no Northern Chinese nipples. Nipples that are neither dark and permanently errect like, say, a South East Asian nipple, nor pink and indistinct like some European nipples, but somewhere in between. Usually mounted atop large and yet firm breasts they are surely a phenomenon worthy of note, even if exceedingly rare. Surely there are other wanderers about who have witnessed such a marvel. No?

Sandman - Ah. Northern China and borderline caucasian. In nipple terms, not a great deal more illuminating than Northern European though. A Prairie Home Companion, although lacking Northern Chinese nipples, does have a number of rather amusing tit jokes and of course Garrison Kiellor playing, not surprisingly, himself. A bit morbid though and in fact Robert Altman died not long after making it. Beautiful, dreamlike pacing though, that perfectly matches the slow, fly-buzzing late Saturday afternoon on the porch ambience I imagine in my ignorance of Americana that such old-time radio shows would have imparted.

Bob - There we go. So, you have seen these yourself then I take it. I, of course, have only seen pictures and would post a link we I skilled in that regard. Computers confuse me generally and I remain grateful that I am able to navigate as far as this site every day. Outside of here is strange and confusing territory best left to the younger generation.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

jidong finds a monkey

Jidong Finds a Monkey
(the world's first TPRS old school movie with phantasmagorical elements)

Open to camera moving slowly down a small path. Dense jungle on either side. Silence side from the sound of birds etc. After a few moments the camera emerges into a clearing. A serious looking cast of characters looks straight into the camera as it slowly zooms in, settling finally on Jidongs face. Silence. Suddenly...

Jidong - AM I YELLING?

The cast of characters is startled and jumps in unison, a little too in unison.

Huh - huh?

Transformagirl - TA WEN TA HOUJIAO MA?

bobsaid - Jidong asked if he was yelling.

Oh - Oh, Jidong asked if he was yelling. That's...odd.

Oh repeats everything bobsaid says, only faster.

Reporter - It's a tense situation ladies and gentlemen. Jidong asked if he was yelling and huh said "huh?" transformagirl translated and bobsaid repeated the English only in reported speech. Oh repeated what bobsaid but with fast relaxed pronunciation. It's quite the linguistics lesson. Lets see what happens next

Huh - huh?

transformagirl - Hoa ji de jingquang..... Kan kan yixia. Xianzai fasheng shenme...

George - YES.

Jidong - YES WHAT?

George - YES, YOU WERE YELLING.

Jidong - Oh, we could dance....

Jidong begins dancing to a song called "jackhammer". He is eating a banana.

Danny Daoyan - CUT!

Slinky - Oh! I'm hungry.

Reporter - Things are really getting exciting now ladies and gentleman. Jidong is eating a banana and the director is angry about it.

Huh - Huh?

Transformagirl - Oh hao xinfen oh. Daoyan zhuyi jidong zai chi yige xiangjiao. Ta hao shengqi oh!

bobsaid - Reporter said that things were really getting exciting now....

Oh - Oh, Things are..... That's excitING. I'm excitED

Danny Daoyan - There is no banana in the script.

Jidong - How can there be no banana in a script about monkees?

Huh - Huh?

Transformagirl - Zhei bu juben guanyu houzi. Meiyou xiangjiao. Zenme ban?

bobsaid - Jidong asked How there could there be no bananas in a script about monkees?"

Oh - So bob asked... That's... a good question.

Danny Daoyan - Sacred Blue Tabernacle (Danny Daoyan has quite a strong gutteral French accent)

Huh - Huh?

Transformagirl - Huh?

George - I thought we were going to find a monkey.

Huh - Huh

Transformagirl - Wo xiang women yao zhaodao yi ge houzi.

Bobsaid - George said that he thought we were going to find a monkey.

Oh - Oh, George said that he thought we were going to find a monkey.

Jidong - We ARE GOING TO find a monkey. Here's the map.

Jidong spreads the map out on the ground. It is a roughly drawn but attractive enough looking document with a big X and the words "The Monkey is HERE"

Jidong - We are here.

George - Yes but we are at the wrong here.

Huh - huh?

Transformagirl - Huh?

Slinky - Be here now.

Huh - huh?

Audiolingual (speaking Chinese) - Be Here Now is a literary reference to a book entitled "Be here Now" by Baba Ram Das. It was popular in the seventies....

Huh -

Friday, May 18, 2007

firecrackers blasting

The debate beween Chuangtzu and Huitzu whether the fish is happy tires me.
The Picnic at Hanging Rock by Peter Weir is a beautiful misery which I never find out what happened.
Why Dragons seem a universal totem for many different ethnic groups? That is because we have the same brain structure.
Sacrifice King: the King is to be sacrificed to God.


When the Gods parades of Matzu and Wongyie ran into an intersection to a main road, which God had the right the go first? Who was the one with higher power?

Matzu’s Bajiajiang came to the square with firecrackers blasting, smoke shrouding and noisy music, to demonstrate how powerful she was.
Wongyie’s Bajiajiang didn’t yield to their demonstration, coming in to the square to dance their protest. It turned out to be a dazzlingly colorful party.

The leaders of Bajaijians from two sides negotiated by dance and reached their agreement, which was Lady First. So Matzu’s parade went first to the main road and then Wongyie’s parade followed suit.

I meet Gods on my way home, quiet often.

kate.lin

kate.lin - I meet Gods on my way home, quiet often.

bob - And some day you will meet bob god of the abstract nonsensical. Like other gods bob has no real power and is challenged even to win an argument with that dumbo fred smith. Dragons are a re-curring theme in everything from Taoist myths to Harry Potter novels because dragons are long and people like long things.

Buttercup wrote - This appears to be the most favored route taken by many. I am curious, is Hat Rin on an island? I am fascinated by the idea of islands in that they are entirely surrounded by water. Water fascinates me as well, there seems to be a great deal of it and it is always changing. One day it is falling out of the sky, the next it is gurgling pleasantly down a valley bottom somewhere. Get too much water together in one place though and have an earthquake under it and we see pretty darn quick what water is capable of. Never mind what happens when it gets cold or you put some in a pot and put it on the stove. Fish seem to like water, a lot better than the alternative at least, regardless of what jdsmith says. jdsmith is a nice guy essentially but struggles yet with the logic of forgiveness. I think a person could spend several life times thinking about water, jdsmith, dragons etc. I once saw a flying squirel fly across the smaller of the two rivers in Wulai. It was quite a sight to see a great big squirel like that flying and one got the impression there was a lot of pleasure in it.

buttercup - 'Like a pig drawing a cartload of sausages, I'm drawing my own conclusions.'

still organizing thoughts

kate.lin - I am still organizing thoughts.

bob - Apparently. It can be quite a struggle and sometimes like quicksand. Quick sand? I don't know why they call it that. It doesn't do anything quickly. Call is funny too. Were I to call it on the phone and call out "Hey! quick sand, come over here quick" it would probably call back "Hey, dumbo, I'm neither quick nor sand but an odd combination of peat bog and water." The etymology nuts would come along and point out that quick was once used in the expression "the quick and the dead" but that hardly helps does it? A sinky feeling would ensue. Did you know that skinny once meant skin like? Are you skinny? I am not. Neither am I exhausted but rather could prattle along like this forever as per the normal progress of things and know that schizophrenics will some day be neither naked nor ashamed but instead clothed in armour like those guys in the 300 movie. Grand epics will be written in our honour and the over fed but under challenged will yawn while watching the movie version, yawning and eating popcorn. I lost the rhythm of this some time ago but press ahead regardless. Despite the advances of science farting too will remain a nuisance but not as bad as diarrhoea in that diarrhoea is a liquid whereas farting a gas with no relation to the rolling stones song. According to Hung-nin Samuel Cheung (a mouthfull in any language) author of "A Practical Chinese Grammar" language is a highly complex form of creative activity. It is replete with metaphors, which by their very nature, make the learning an interesting and thought-provoking experience. Boy you can say that again, though I don't quite understand the first bit.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

a better deal

OK try this. Concieve of some concept or other and take a deep breath. Relax, now, allowing your diaphragm to relax therby pushing air past the vocal organs, and by means of subconcious process so infinitely complex that even I have a hard time understaning it, set them to vibrate or not as required by the unique phonetic charactersitics of what will become words, after the other vocal organs: toungue, roof of the mouth, teeth, lips, nose jaw essentially, have had there way with them. Now, if you have followed my instructions you have just caused air molecules to vibrate and those vibrating molecules have entered your ear canal and set your ear drums to pounding in such a manner as to be deciphrable to your brain as language, symbolic sound essentially, and thus creating a circular effect much like a ying/yang symbol or a masturbation party. In any event the thing you need to ask yourself now is "Did the sounds you created sound something like "Aiyo, tai gui ba, keyi bi jiao pianyi ma?" or did they sound something more like "Hang on let me put on my stupid hat and let you stick it to me one more time?" This last part of course is crucial to the discussion and so on and so forth. Old age is a burden to the young I realize but the abstract nonsensical takes decades, if not centuries to fully master, and as time passes we are all one step closer.

Friday, May 11, 2007

in and out

When Indonesian women are hoping to go into labour they will often seek out a warm tidal pool in the warm Indian Ocean to soak their nether regions, thereby blurring the distinction between in (used in this rare instance as the noun object of a preposition) and out (used also as the noun object of a preoposition in this rare instance) and thus encouraging new life to make that fateful plunge. If, very early one morning, they are partaking of this quite sensible practice really and happen upon a not in fact so young foreign gentleman in a secluded tidal pool some hundred yards from shore for a little lively bit of chit chat splashing about what have you, this can indeed have the effect of stimulating the birth process. The word "natural" takes on a new meaning and you are born again into the fold of heart felt environmentalism. This is all speculation of course. It could also happen that you inhale a ton of carbon monoxide on Taipei city streets and take up an interest in following the stock market. Given modern conditions arms manufacturing looks like a good investment.

Something Smells

At first you think the pool is just muddy, but then you wonder if it in fact is not deep, so you stick your finger in. Nope, it's not deep, in fact it is shallower than you first thought and oily too. You wish you hadn't stuck your finger in, especially after noticing the frogs appear to have lessions on their skin. And something smells, like a combination of diesel fuel and rotten cow.